Chicken Orville & The Goblet of Fur

My Auntie Megan suggested that I write a review of "Harry Potter."  THAT, would be TOTALLY AWESOME!  I love Harry Potter!  But before I can, even though I've read the books (okay, my Dad read them TO me because it's hard to turn a page with a paw - I tried with my tongue, but the pages just got stuck to together and got stuck to me, and that last book was freakin' HUGE, so imagine trying to walk around with over 700 pages stuck to your tongue!), I need to go see the last movie. 

Yeah, that's right, I haven't seen it yet.

I've been waiting.  I don't wanna go on opening weekend because I want to be able to find a seat, and after I find one, I don't want to have to keep trying to see around some 30 year old Cosplay idiot with a 5 foot tall Sorting Hat on his greasy Cheezy-Poof-stained noggin' who spends the whole movie pointing out what was or was not in the book and how he could have made the movie way better if he had directed it (like that You Tube video he made on how to properly hold your wand (of which I'm sure he gets lots of practice holding his wand while living in his Mommy's basement)).  I am NOT dealing with that crap when I go to see this film.  No frakking way!  No, I wanna be able to go in, get my nachos without the chips (just the cheese), my chocolate coins (you know, in the gold foil), my 40 litre Big Gulp of suicide slushy, a bag of $30 M&Ms, a bucket of butter-flavored liquid cholesterol with some popcorn floating on top, and settle in with my Hello Kitty Snuggie and watch the movie in complete comfort.   A weekday, preferably right around 5pm when everyone is commuting home from their Muggle jobs.  Of course, because that's when my Mom is also commuting home from HER Muggle job, we haven't had the chance to go yet.

But, I'm hoping to convince her that this weekend is the time to go.  Problem is, it'll be the weekend, and the "weekend warrior cosplayers" (the ones who don't take dressing up as Severus Snape as seriously as others and only do so on the weekends - amateurs) will be out in force.  I can only hope that some of them have moved on to painting the lids to their garbage cans red-white-and-blue and are seeing Captain America instead.  Problem with THAT is that all the cute girls who SHOULD be dressing up as Hermione are now all over at the next screening room, pledging their allegiance to Chris Evans' bulging patriotism.

Keep your fingers crossed that my Mom will take me to see the movie this weekend, because once she does, then I can start writing my epic 7 (maybe 8) part series on the Harry Potter movies.  But I gotta see the movie first because this is a MOVIE review site, not a BOOK review site.  And just like the Academy waiting until the last LOTR movie came out before giving it the Oscar it should have won from the get-go, I am waiting to start until the last movie passes before my giant, awestruck Puss-In-Boots eyes, filling me with that same tingling sensation you get when you climb the rope in gym class.




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